Sunday, February 27, 2011

From 10/24- 11/14/10 - Developing a Heart that can be ready for anything

Meditation and dharma talk at Mountain Cloud Zen Center:

Reaching awareness is about the realization that you will always be missing a perspective.

The ocean may look round from the boat and like a jewel from the shore.

The realization that we are foolish. How silly are our minds, our concepts, our worldview.

How we choose what we believe based on if it will fit into our worldview. Ex. rebirth

Follow what makes your heart expand. Its liberating to realize how foolish our minds are, racing around. Sometimes we end up thinking we are lacking, so we end up doing more and more to make up for this feeling of lack.

Developing a heart that can be ready for anything.

What we’re talking about whenever we engage in this practice...

The middle way between self- indulgence and self-denial.

Our suffering comes from:

— Grasping/clinging to pleasant experiences

— Resisting what is unpleasant

— When we believe we are separate

Its how we relate to what’s happening

- allowing the unpleasant to be unpleasant, take away the grasping, clinging, resisting

Sickness is part of our condition. If we can accept the fact that painful things happen, it allows the ability of being present, impactful, and supportive to those suffering.

So often, pain is the opportunity for the connection and the enhancement of perception.

We can develop equanimity through pain. When we are touched at the core, our perception can shift and we can see what’s really there. Its pain + resistance that causes suffering. Simply observe – to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to hold the pain. Then the mind gets tired and can’t be so aware and then the resistance comes back.

How can you be present, supportive, compassionate, empathetic in your own heart so you can show up for those who are suffering?

The quality of equanimity – this non-reactive heart.

Simply being with what is without the reactive quality – this is a great state of awareness to be in. It’s neither grasping nor resisting. It knows what’s happening without reacting to what’s happening.

Stability.

The ability to be with what is whatever that reality is. That quality is an expression of our freedom.

Let it be.

Seeing it all float by without reacting, this is the heart that is ready for anything. This is what we are cultivating.

Working toward:

— Being open to all forms of happiness, to have a rapturous response to pleasure then let it pass away.

— To see the goodness in ourselves and others, to treat strangers as if they are good friends.

— How do we relate skillfully to painful experiences? To really focus on this state of equanimity and non-reactivity, being conscious enough to not react, to say: these are just conditions.

You can’t force wisdom; it only comes at its own pace in its own time.

“Suffering there is, but no one suffers” – Buddha

This week: Pay attention to how you’re relating to what is pleasurable and to what is painful. Let the flow of events flow without entangling.


From 10/12/10 - Thinking

Beautiful meditation tonight at Mountain Cloud. Talk about relationships and thinking. How we can become aware of that moment when we stop experiencing and perceiving and start getting lost in thought an lose contact with the present. How that loss comes from being wrapped up on ourselves, our plans - me and mine. How we complicate things with our thinking. How our thinking has become our home base instead of awareness when problems arise.

Meditation is important because it gives repetition, constant reinforcement of awareness until we get to a place where we can take a break from meditation because we are living fully in awareness in our everyday lives.

Let solutions and next steps arise organically from stillness, not from thinking.

I'm content to stay in Santa Fe and always feel like I belong here. Really going to take advantage of all these spiritual talks and outlets while I'm here. Once again, I think that's the real reason I'm here.

Satisfaction vs. unsatisfaction. When there's part of me that wants to procrastinate and part of me that wants to get uncomfortable things done. How it feels good to get them done. I am at peace with not knowing.

From 10/9/10 - living in a new house

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I appreciate having a kitchen to cook in again. The simple things bring so much happiness. Not having any plans allows me to go with the flow instead of making the flow myself. I ended up getting a haircut with Erin, going to a new Greek food stand called The Nile, and hiking to the top of Atalaya. Then Kristin called me to watch a movie at night. We watched Deadman an old indie western movie with Johnny Depp and Iggy Pop. Then I woke up at 4:30 am this morning, picked Taina up and took off for the Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque. It was amazing to see all the balloons against the blue sky. I should not have eaten that fried funnel cake though :) Now I'm making fish chowder and writing in my journal before heading over to a pumpkin carving party.

Plans keep getting canceled this week and new ones take their place. Its really a lesson in my relationship to the experiences that are happening more than it is about the experiences themselves.

"Many troubles in our lives stem from not taking 10 minutes of quiet in our day."

From 9/25/10 - Joanna Massey and Richard Rohr Talk in Santa Fe

Notes:

Johanna Massey:
We listen differently to poetry. It comes from a different place.

Five Guidelines:
1) Come from gratitude
2) Don't be afraid of the dark
3) Have a vision
4) Link arms
5) Act your age

Re. 1. Its very important to be grateful when you are anxious or in trouble.

Re. 2. Good things happen in the dark, you know it :) We need to own and see the beauty in suffering with our world. "What batters you, becomes your strength" - Rilke
"To the rushing waters, speak 'I am.' To the standing Earth, 'I am.'"

Re. 3 + 4. Paul Hawkin writes in "Blessed Unrest" "We are in the largest social movement in human history." Shift in awareness/consciousness. Upaya Zen Center. Keep the vision that we can survive.

Re. 5. To celebrate our true age, to celebrate the full authority of 14 billion years of yourself as human. There is an authority in that when you stand up to the bulldozers to say what you have to say, do what you need to do. Its not out of your nobility"

We are being breathed.
We are not making the decision to breath.
Its happening to us.

Richard Rohr:

- Where is the sustainability and vibrancy in church? When the guru or priests keep being brought in from elsewhere?

- Permaculture insists that we must be intellectually and creatively imaginative and frugal in other matters of life.

- about regenerating old lands, not conquering new ones, Jesus called it healing.

- Bryan McClarin calls it evacuation for the next world, when we should be focusing on this world.

- Island of Iona off Scotland, Celtic Christian history place. Celtic knot - symbolizes system of interdependence.

- How do we recognize we are part of bigger systems? and act our age?

- We've been making people dependent on some higher level of consumption dependent on higher technology.

- Need to practice religious permaculture

- The difference between being correct and being connected. Difference between being independently right and having right relationships.

- All'h - the very "huh" - breath.
Yahway - created to imitate breathing - inhalation and exhalation. Back to being breathed. God is being itself.

- You can only lead people as far as you yourself have gone. Need to be transformed.

- Many of our wars have been about how we name God.

- Whenever you transcend to a higher level of consciousness, you include what brought you there, the previous stages. If you can't include, honor, respect the previous stages, you haven't transcended.

- Storage and Flow - two words that preoccupy permaculture, we can teach you how to learn for yourself, how to store and flow, so simple, its hard t teach.

- Santa Fe means holy faith.

- How can this be taught in the seminars of the world? Very hard to get people and places open for teaching contemplative spirituality - it makes the organized religion unnecessary.

- Get big or get out - American attitude. Doesn't want the CAC to get any bigger. Whenever 2-3 of you gather in right relationship, "I am present" Once you move to the organizational level, exclusion starts happening because certain questions of insurance, policy, procedures, etc. come into play. Start being asked and the natural flow of things can't happen because unnatural questions are being asked. The alternative is to stay small and stay real. You have to rachet down your lifestyle, a simpler way of living.

- Permaculture seeks to see the world as relationship of brother and sisters.

- Bruno Barnheart. Owen Barfield - mentor of Tolkein and C.S. Lewis called it, "Original Participation" Through breathing, dancing, nature, sexuality, poetry, the promise of full and final participation. We have been in 500 years of the "desert of non-participation" of just words.

Q & A:

Loving people/creating first and using things to help people. Watch out that technology does not take the place of face to face relationships.

So much about responding to immediate danger. Brains not hardwired to look at things a year away. To move to the feeling of the immediate level requires a level of imagination. Practice-based rather than belief-based.

The person one needs to hear from is the person inside.

Allowing others to speak, not me. Better to ask people what they're feeling and thinking rather than telling them what you're feeling and thinking.

Going to somewhere new, leave home out of small world view. Art, music, dance, poetry, other ways of knowing beyond literal, left-brain consciousness is much larger than thinking. Its not irrational, its transrational. Going beyond words. Deep silence and then speak - see what wants to arise - quaker meetings.

Waking up together by sharing energy.

The magic and power that can be released through sheer apology. Until there is vulnerability from the dominant, imperial side, when finally capable of self-critical thinking and seeing own faults and asking and starting over.

"You can't see what you weren't told to look for," Brian McClaron, probably a necessary humiliation.

Bill Mullison - founder of Permaculture - grassroots movement return to local life.

Bless yourself, thank yourself. Walk around the block and say hello to anyone you meet. Get involved in doing things beyond the discussion, back to the physical, hands-on world.

Joan Halifax - Upaya Zen Center "I have not made my life, it is being made and evolving, trust in the darkness, we've only idealized light and gain. Both/and way of thinking.

Learned ignorance - learning that you don't know. Being comfortable with disorder and pain and finding God in it.

The Gaia meditation. Coming back to life.

Final Thoughts:

R.R.
Even a little bit of God is more than enough. The openess of heart.

J.M. All'h!
Ojai Foundation and Findhorn.
The Death and Resurrection of Earth. Earth as Christ.
Opening of the global hearth.
We are living at a time when we can once again see ourselves and Earth as sacred.

Look at your hand, know that this was once a fin, think of all that has shaped this hand in an unbroken series of events, your own human history. Our service to Earth is in your hand. Know that we belong and we are sacred.

Center for Sotacataline in Juarez, Mexico.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Walks in my new neighborhood


An alert dog keeping watch on a fisher price picnic table didn't stay put very long for a picture. I like walking on all the dirty allyway roads between paved avenues in Hyde Park. They go in between all the back yards. I see the hidden gardens and green houses, play grounds and sand boxes, at night, the grills being used. I smell the Christmas trees people tossed out onto trash heaps and they remind me of home. People tidying up their yards or taking out recycling say hi for the most part. I think this beautiful, warm weather we're having encourages friendliness. 

Saturday, January 23, 2010

mysterious formations





We were walking along the Barton Creek greenbelt during that cold snap in early Jan. At first my friend thought it was a plastic bag around the bottom of the plant, but then we saw another one and looked closer. Ice! Only around the base of certain plants. Absolutely beautiful.

From December 17th at home in Maine for the holidays

There is a sliver of frost at the bottom of one window, but not the other. Otherwise the two windows would be identical.

The banjo hanging on the wall has 7 strings all looking the same except some are in the middle and some are on the outside, and without even looking closer, I would guess that some are thicker or thinner steel than others.

The wood walls are cut and beveled the same width and length, but they are each individuals too with identifying knots in different spots.

Two identical speakers face me. They look exactly the same, but one will always be on the left and one on the right of me.

 There is a sun image on the chimney - painted by my mom pa long time ago. Its like those southwest native American types with asymmetry, except, this one doesn’t quite have the same design on both sides.  

Just like us, everything is at once an individual and part of a whole. Everything that is unique and one of a kind can still be repeated as an image or composed in smaller parts and repeated.

Its funny how the same situations can repeat through out life too...repetitions of emotions back and forth between suffering and joy...I am happy now because I have a reason to be happy. That reason is: I have the ability and the desire to make the best out of any situation. And, um, maybe because I'm in such a place that I love again.