Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I took off to Canyon de Chelly on Sunday. Solo. South eastern Arizona. I circled the south rim upon arrival, after setting up the tent at the free Cottonwood Campground. Down into the canyon I hiked to White House Ruins. This is the only hike that visitors are allowed to enter down into the canyon without a Navajo or licensed guide. A cave on the trail became my reading/writing spot for nearly an hour. I was not ready to leave the sacred space and so I sat and reflected as people passed me by going up or going down, some stopping to take my photo, another commenting on his way back up (after passing me going down) "Still reading I see". Yes, indeed. And a captivating book I am absorbed in: "Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood".
Here are some quotes from it, which have helped enlighten me this weekend:
"You are asked to believe in the invisible, in something beyond all known experience - We ask you to make as real as the touching of your finger in the physical contact this other experience - and that is to keep the finger of the mind on this thought of awareness." (115)
"Do not speak from without, Make the habit of speaking from within." (91)
"For one soul that exclaims, 'Speak Lord, for thy servant heareth,' there are ten that say, 'Hear Lord for thy servant speaketh,' and there is no rest for these." - Pamela Grey (15).
It is difficult when the outside is hard pressed by the trouble in the world to keep the inside serene, but it is only difficult when you think you can make it serene" (13).
And here I was sitting on the rim, reading these words and asking questions in my life that these words are answering. Here I was in a beautiful peaceful place wondering why it was I had a weight in my heart. What was it from? Why had it been bothering me for too long? I asked. And I knew, the weight was from anxiety about wanting to know what I'd be doing this fall, anxiety also about money and how I would pay for things, anxiety about what to do next with my life. And then it hit me. I know what I'm doing with my life. I know what I will be doing with my life in the fall! I know what I will be doing with my life in January wherever I am in the world. I know what I will be doing with my life the rest of my life! And that is, what I'm doing now. I will be working on creating stillness in my life, on speaking from within, on not getting caught up with what is without. In every moment that I can, connecting with God/spirit/source/abundance/goddess/love/grace/that which is. This is my intention. And of this I am certain for the rest of my life!
The following morning I drove the north rim, saw the sight where over 100 Native Americans were massacred and felt subdued. I drove rt. 12 back to New Mexico and was treated to one of the most stunning drives - through forests, mountains, lakes, red rock formations, dramatic skies, families kayaking and fishing on the 4th of July. I felt free, a weight lifted after my meditations, reading and writing. I stopped at Window Rock to catch a view of the sky through a natural arched hole in a cliff. I visited Red Rock State Park and hiked for two hours on Pyramid Trail. Up to the top for panoramic, jaw-dropping views.
This is a poem from my morning sit at Canyon de Chelly:
I awoke with great joy
To red rock cliffs of Canyon de Chelly.
My voyage is still today
And it is all I ask for
That it stay this way,
Listening to birds in pinon trees,
Smelling Russian Olives,
Surrendering to your word,
Hearing your guidance,
A tiny baby chipmunk
Scurries past fast.
The sun catches the shadow
Of its tail on a rock.
The mica matches the sparkle
I feel in my heart.
Arms melt, expand,
Are part of the canyon rim -
Horizon line held in all directions
And stretching beyond at the same time,
To where I cannot fathom,
And do not know,
I simply trust that this is so.