Saturday, February 18th
Given by Diana Redmond, Director of Deep Coaching Institute
10am - 5:30pm
"Its not our job to search for love. Our job is to discover the barriers blocking us from love." The enneagram shows us how we've labeled our selves and put up boundaries and how to get beyond that.
The belly center, when we connect with it, gives us the ability to be in a nonjudgmental, preference-less state.
Each type is a facet of consciousness.
We go from infancy at a point of "I am that" to a point of "Who am I?" That point of asking "Who am I?" is when the personality starts to form as a means to relieve ourselves from our forgetting and the pain of disconnection that brings.
Ask yourselves, "What part of me takes me away from source?"
The circle of the enneagram diagram represents the bounding of what we have decided to include and exclude, to accept and resist about ourselves.
Somatic awareness - fully being in the body
To be lovable, you have to be willing first to be unloveable. The trinity, both/and. Lovealbe, unloveable and the two together.
Whatever we resist, persists! Whatever we are fighting against, the opposite of that is not being owned in ourselves.
[as a 4, I have to be willing to have no personal significance or identity in order to have personal significance and identity]
The open heart is what brings us our meaning, purpose and identity with life.
The open mind brings brilliance, clarity, and awakens.
The open belly brings grounding and substantiality.
Time is a continual unfolding of consciousness, continually becoming, that that unfolding is what we lose touch with and disconnect from.
Belly Center (8, 9, 1)
The 8: unself-conscious, strength, immidiacy. 8's want to be met. The wife of an 8 realized, that in order to keep her marriage, her husband needed: good food, good sex and for her to meet him and stand up for herself. Lust is the passion of the 8 and it transforms into the virtue of innocence. The transformation comes from embracing the lustfulness and being with it.
Mantra: "My vulnerability is the source of my strength"
The 9: Embracing, receptive energy. Has lost touch with the world already being harmonious. Think they have to make it harmonious and to recreate that harmony they think is gone. There sense of self is "I'm the peaceful, calm one" and they are invested in maintaining that image, so much so that their anger gets repressed and has no where to go. The sloth is their passion, and their own internal awakening. They do every other thing than the one that is really important to them, don't put the effort into their own awakening and knowing themselves, almost live through other people. Their mental habit is rumination (philosophizing). They are disconnected from their belly center and forward momentum. They are stubborn - don't even bother with a 9 when they're in this stubborn place of "No!". They have boundary issues. Watch for their saying yes, when they really mean no.
Mantra: "My presence matters"
Break for group excerize. Pair up. One person asks the question and listens silently while the other answers all that comes to mind. Question: How to you express anger? Me - I don't really feel anger in the moment. The irritability and resentment and even reproachment of myself will come afterwards - wishing I could have said the things in the moment I realize afterwards. When I was a child, though, I expressed anger immediately and powerfully with tantrums followed by pouting and withdrawal to my room. Now, I almost have a delayed reaction to anger, not just anger, but any powerful emotion - sadness, fear. I don't know if its because I learned that having the outbursts and just reacting did no good. Now I have more of a sense of seeing myself as its happening, training myself not to react, but to act more objectively from a place of distance. I cannot remember the last time I blew up at someone in anger even when they were angry at me. Sometimes, though, it would be helpful to be able to do this - some middle ground between me as a child and me right now would be an interesting experiment for me to develop.
The 1: Perfection in true quality of things. The 1 walks around as if they're the one responsible for perfection - when in reality, its all perfect because the world is inherently perfect. The one has a very controlled expression of anger - sometimes its okay and sometimes its not and the "okayness" is dictated by them. "I'm doing the right thing. I know I am." "I'm going to be my own judge and make my own discipline" They have the sense of themselves as reasonable and objective. They need to start seeing that "That's my right" and asking themselves, "What voice is it that is telling me that this is right?" Their wake-up call - "When I'm feeling the weight on my shoulders, that I'm the only one caring about this, why is it always me? Why can't everyone else have integrity and awareness like I do?" Sometimes after being really really good, they'll suddenly act out, get really drunk, show their bad side. To have good, we have to have bad. They're projecting the badness and imperfection they don't own in themselves. Instead, they need to ask themselves, "What is the perfection I see in this moment? What is the goodness I see in this situation?" Mental habit: judging. They go back and whip themselves for something they think they could have done better. They feel like this inner critic voice is being reasonable and objective and right. They are particularly adverse to criticism - can't be with mistakes. The journey for the one is to honor and see the imperfection and perfection in themselves.
With the enneagram, we're figuring out the know we've been identifying with. We can't fight against our defense structures, but what we can do is relax into it, be curious, and that loosens the knot. It brings things into the circle, allowing. To realize its a defense structure my personality created to defend against loosing magnificence.
Our biggest fear is not our smallness. Our biggest fear is our magnificence.
Heart Center (2,3,4)
The place of purpose, meaning and compassion. Compassion asks the question, "I understand the misunderstanding that is happening in this moment, and I ask, how can I serve?"
When in balance, allows feelings to come without dwelling in or identifying with.
The 2: humility is being humble to our own human condition and the 2's have lost that. There is a stickiness to their love. They are wanting to be loved. Mental habit: flattery. Often we are so blind to our flattery. Internal message: "I am good or okay if I am loved and accepted" Wake up call: "leaning into someone in order to be fulfilled, very relationship-oriented, clingy. There are strings attached with their giving, very possessive. Making others feel guilty and smothered.
Mantra: "What do I need?" "I ask for what I need"
The 3: Most disconnected from the heart center and with their heart's desire. When connected their virtue is the ability to keep manifesting this glory of authenticity. "If I'm the best at it and do a lot of stuff, I get attention. All I have is my conquests" Feel like they have to earn it. Hard-working. "I can get it done" confident, capable, efficient, polished, seamless. Incredible ability to deceive others and themselves. "That's who I am, a vanity around that" Feel they have to perform to have value. See me - I didn't get seen by my mother the way I wanted to be seen. Core fear: failure, of being worthless. The heart loves the truth of whats in the moment, authenticity. Wanting to be seen as the best. Wakeup call: "Noticing that they're performing and acting as if there is a camera on them, not being authentic to themselves"
Mantra: "How others see me is none of my business" "This is much bigger than me. I'm just one of many threads"
The 4: Longing for the divine. "My sweet, crushed angel" poem by Hafiz. Part of consciousness they're most attuned to is depth and beauty of life. "The beloved is all I yearn for". 4's and 5's are the deep sea divers of the psyche. Who am I? All about being authentic and not being part of suburbia, superficiality. Mental habit: fantasizing. Wakeup call: "Taking themselves out of connection by using their mind to stir up their feelings and strengthen their feelings and longings" Shame/hurt. Envy. Stirring up feelings makes them feel more alive. Emotional honesty, self-revealing, inspired creator, self absorbed or self-indulgent. Virtue of equanimity. Core fear: of having no identity, no personal significance. Can access the heart of the matter when engaged in life and emotionally balanced. Personal creativity connects to the universal. Sensitive, intelligent.
Mantra: "I see the beauty that is in this moment" "The beautiful quality of my life is based on small, ordinary moments"
Heart types are searching for attention and image. Value and shame come with the feeling of being out of integrity with oneself. Shame helps us show that we're out of integrity. "I'm out of alignment here"
Head types (5, 6, 7)
Head types are looking a lot in the future, while looking for security. With fear, its what has us be alert in the moment. Its a responsive energy. When fear gets distorted, it turns into anxiety. Fear is the false expectation that something is real. We all do it, regardless of our type.
The 5: Capacity to see where delusions are and illuminate them. Avarice of the heart. Perseptive. Mental habit: retention "My safety and security come from my knowledge" Need to have their own space. Mantra: "I am safe in tis world" Wakeup call: "disconnecting to go figure something out, withdrawing to their mind while removing themselves from their heart"
The 6: Least connected with quiet mind. "I'm not sure where I want to go" Wakeup call: "frantic over thinking" Mantra: "My security lies within me" Constant story of what could happen. Projecting out on others what is happening in their minds. Good exercise: to pick a partner and time of day and call and report gratitudes to that person for a length of time. To ask what supports me now? Courage is starting where there is no secure outcome or results.
The 7: Freedom, utter spontaneity. complete, spontaneous joy, lightness. Part of the assertive triad (3, 7, 8). of I'm gonna get my needs met. Boring is outside their circle. Wake up call: "The grass is always greener" Mental habit: anticipation and planning. That's how they take themselves out of being here. Have full calendars. When in fact, commitment is freedom. Pinning their hopes on something to give them happiness.
Mantra: "My fulfillment exists by experiencing the exquisiteness of the here and now"