Friday, August 5, 2011

Dreams, Grace and Music in the Biopark

I did have a symbolically packed dream last night after either weird anxiety dreams or no dreams at all for a little while. Here's my dream:
I am sitting in a big ballroom/lecture room with all the other applicants for the Chronicle Books design fellowship in San Francisco. We are given the instructions to come to the podium to sit when we see the sign to do so. However, there are only 3 chairs at the podium and only those 3 who are in the seats will be selected. Everyone is watching a famous designer speaking near the podium. My sister is sitting next to me for support, not as an applicant herself. We are sitting in the very back of the room. I wonder if there will be a mad dash, like musical chairs, when we are given the sign. Suddenly, in the back, I see a beautifully attired woman in a black and gold dress and I know she is the signal to move forward. I walk along the side aisle toward the front. As I near the stage, two women in the 2nd to front row also see the woman in black and gold signaling. They get up and continue with me and we all sit in the 3 chairs near the podium. No one else has noticed the woman in gold and black, or us. There is no fuss or rush for the front when the rest of the applicants do realize that the seats are filled.
Next, the three of us have to have our minds scanned. There are small screens in front of us so we can view the scans and the visuals also pop up on a large projector in the front of the room. I look at my scan. I notice one large compartment (and I think 3 small ones, which are part of the larger one, I'm not sure); In the large compartment is written in typed small-caps, the word GRACE. This is also the case for the scans for the two women next to me. I am aware that they have known each other for a long time.
Audience members who ask to see their mind scans see a different image on the screen. The largest part of their brain component reads in typed small caps: MINDLESSNESS. In the dream, I know this means lack of awareness and GRACE means integration and unity.
Next, the 3 of us on the podium are led by one of last year's fellows, a man, into another room with cocktails and then into another room where we are told our work assignments. The 3 assignments are: Environment, Network and web (where the other two women are placed) and Story Design, where I am placed. These titles surprise all of us because we know that the placements we applied for were different [and these are real life placements outside my dream world] and included: children's book design, marketing, and book design. Another surprising thing happens when we are informed that the fellowship begins in only a few weeks, in September, instead of January - as we had anticipated from the application materials. I had travel plans for the fall already and I change them to fit the new dates of this new opportunity. At the end of the dream, I am driving to San Francisco.
The dream left me with a very happy, optimistic and purposeful feeling. (especially since before having no dreams for a while, I kept having dreams that left me feeling irratable or discouraged). I awoke feeling like there are surprises coming and I need to be flexible and open to them. The most powerful point in the dream was the word GRACE in my mindscan. I think this setup of the mind as a pattern of unity comes with awareness and mindFULness and goes to compartmentalization with mindLESSness.
The evening before I had this dream was a very happy, care-free and also meaningful and unexpected one. My plan had been to go to see music in the biopark with T and M. We were about to leave when C surprised us by saying she was coming too. M teased her about actually getting out of the house. We were all in the dining room at this point so C took the opportunity to share what has been going on with her to the group. It was a very moving, humbling and connecting experience. R had the idea for to bless her with anointed, rosemary scented olive oil. We ended in a group hug with C in the center. 
I realized just how powerful it is to be the one sending deeply felt prayers to someone else. C turned the night meaningful very suddenly. I didn't care about going to the concert anymore and was surprised again when there was still time to go and M, C and T were still up for it. So off we went. We had such a fun rest of the night listening to a modern, young band in the biopark and sharing stories about risks we have taken. Then we came home and made popcorn and stayed up talking, watching silly Saturday night live parodies on youtube, and laughing before going to bed, when I dreamed that dream.

Indeed, I feel like my whole intention has come back into alignment this week and that feels great!
I am grateful A encouraged me to watch my dreams this week and reminded me that intention is everything.