Notes from trip to Steamboat Springs, CO, mid- december

Quick trip to Steamboat mid December to meet Stirling's dad and store some of his stuff up there. Our first little road trip. Beautiful times, weather, hot springs, getting a ski lesson with his dad. Then braking my wrist snowboarding the following day at the bottom of the slope on the last run, of course. I found out it was broken a few days later when I went back to Santa Fe (where I have health coverage) and got an ex-ray and cast put on. Cast on for 6 weeks, a clean fracture. Should heal totally fine, just take some time. The weird thing is, I got injured this exact week the year before while sledding  (concussion). Life's just telling me to slow down whenever I start getting too fast. I am done the film fest work and have a bit of a break until new work comes in, which I trust it will. It will give me some time to be still and take it easy. No rush.

Trip to HI, Big Island back in November

Here are some notes and pics from beach time on the big Island, where I traveled November 2012 for a friend's wedding.

11/12: Sittin' Kickin' it at Hookena Beach with a newfound crew of wilderness therapist friends. Soaking in the sun and the braking waves. I could definitely live here. Wonder if I ever will.  Santa Fe is being really kind to me though and it would be hard to leave. This would be even more out there and hard to travel from. I'm always open and up for anything though. My intention right now in life is to go with the flow, to be creative, to be more conscious of my breathing, letting stress flow through me instead of storing it in my body. Being loving toward people. Working on my own projects.

11/14/12 Camping near the ocean at Kapa'a State Park Beach. I was hoping to find a restorative peaceful place to spend the night and here I am. The ocean is calling. The universe is calling through it. Our yearning for the universe is the Universe yearning for us. Last night, I went to my first ecstatic dance, with the group of wilderness therapist friends. It happened at a yoga retreat place I had heard of from a friend called Kalani. I hadn't make any special effort to come here, and yet I found myself here at this ecstatic dance. It was an experience. I heard the term cuddle puddle for the first time and experienced such a puddle of love after the dance was over and we lay laughing and deliriously tired on the floor.

I am reading Cynthia Bourgealt's book "Wisdom Jesus" in my tent. Reading about the Pacific Northwest Wisdom School she started in Santa Barbara. Reading about Kenotic Spirituality - self-emptieying as a path to fullness. Reading about Tantra in "its real sense as an ancient and authentic spiritual path, it seeks the unitive state of transcendence of separation and duality - through complete self-emptieying and out-pouring."

11/16/12
I am staying at a cottage on a coffee farm right near the wedding - the only accommodation I'm paying for on this trip. The only other guest in the cottage is a woman from Holland named Marienetta, but she looks Hawaian. Dark Skin and eyes and hair. She invited me to try and come swimming with the dolphins with her tomorrow. She tells me about her recent turning in life and how she feels she is just starting her 2nd life in this life. Its so funny how I am always meeting these kinds of people and fall into these conversations so naturally.

Its been a beautiful week. Last night, I met up with Katie and her friends for the bachelorette party. I got to spend the night at the Royal Kona Retreat for free with one of Katie's friend's, Liz, who's in a  band in Las Vegas, NV (have to specify NV since there is a Las Vegas, NM). That was pretty cool to wake up in a fancy hotel on the ocean I never would have been able to stay in otherwise. That morning, Liz and I walked to an acai bowl breakfast place and split a bowl filled with bee pollen, cashew nut butter, coconut, banana, acai smoothie, and macs powder. Yum!

A few days ago, my last with my rental car, I went up Mauna Kea all the way to the top - even though they say you need 4-wheel drive to do that. Took a hike to the glacier lake there and some cool pictures.

Now back to the cottage I'm at through the wedding. Chirping crickets and frogs. I feel immense gratitude  and peace with where I am with life now.

11/18 Wedding. Remember that all the choices we've made to be here now, depended on all the choices those before us have made. The reverend asking everyone at the wedding to make a commitment to send love and help to the bride and groom when they need it. That's really why we've been invited to be part of this ceremony. The bride and groom felt they could depend on us for love and support in their journey together. Traditional Haiwain wedding touches: conch shell blown at start, Luaos exchanged and given to parents of bride and groom.

Room in the World

What a joy to sit with the mountains,
Extra tall and crisp in suits of snow,
Cloud capes draping their shoulders,
Softening their stance into certain indigo.

Mountains, do you ever wish...
To glance at us, from a distance?
Through curtains and windows?
To have your space all alone?

You appear so remote, self-sufficient,
Unchangeable forever, or so we assume.
But you are constantly giving us
your room in the world.

Clocks: Ticking TIme

From January 5th

Clocks: ticking time
To the city lights, flickering.
Windows: reflecting the doors
That we pass through.
Beds: studios for dreams
To unfurl like smoke.
Sighs: signifying the good work
We know we did today.
Hope: when the heart still longs
To find a way.

Deeper Than Indigo

Our touch,

Is Kelp,

Caressed by Ocean Waves.

Our embrace,

Is how a boat feels,

In the sea.

Our eyes meeting,

Is the tide,

Drawn toward shore.

The only direction,

Worth exploring,

Is deep.

Thank you for keeping,

My heart diving,
Alongside yours.

The Journey

How many stars,
Descend during daylight?
Going unnoticed,
This side of Earth?

Not any less
Than commets in darkness,
When coyotes are calling,
Dogs to wildness.

You are trying your best,
To fight gravity.
Forgetting in your
Fancy of flight,

That eggs are laid,
In nests and ground,
And stars fall and shine
Regardless all around.

Inner Space

The end of one plane,
Receding into dreams,
Bringing the new.
Are you ready to lead?

Bicycle spokes, black books,
Feather pillows, keyboard strokes,
Writing notes to faraway folks,
What do you wish to know?

The drive inside,
Who is driving?
The snow outside,
Who is snowing?

The coming and going,
Of the muse.
Who is controlling?
Who is holding?

Just a brake please,
From the gas.
Just a breath please,
Between the last.

Just a moment please,
To trust the process,
To feel the track
Slow, not fast.

To see the footprints,
In the back,
And, ahead, emptiness,
From the pack.

To create universally,
From the stillness of mist,
To relate to starlight,
From the lava flow.

And bring the glow,
To warm the earth,
That is the tip,
Of what she asks.

(written dec 11)